I think sometimes we sell ourselves short; I'm definitely guilty as charged. I've sold myself short on time. On experiences. On growth. On life.
I’m on the go from sunrise to sunset and usually past midnight. I’m always setting new goals, but forgetting about the old ones. There’s always something to get to. Always a new trend to keep up with. Life just keeps going like a runaway train. All the while, here I am with a smile painted on my face like everything is okay. Then I’m reading all these books to tell me how to solve my problems. Looking to search engines for answers.
“Ok Google… steps for changing careers”
“Alexa… How to get out of debt?”
“Ok Google… Should I save or pay off my credit card?”
“Siri… Is grad school worth it?”
“Ok Google… blog topics”
With the nonstop hustle and bustle, I never give myself time to think. I never give myself time to answer my own questions. Time to plan. Time to figure out what I want. Time to focus. There’s a quote: “If you chase two rabbits, you won’t catch either one.” That’s where I feel I stand. In a field, trying to chase two rabbits, but coming up empty handed. While my quality of life slowly diminishes into a sad cycle of go, sleep, repeat. Aimless in my pursuit to hold everything together. My life has become a façade to make runaway trains look cool.
What am I doing? That’s the question I keep asking. What am I actually doing? Where am I going? What am I working toward?
Have you ever gotten lost and felt like you were lost, but refused to look like you were lost? Just keep walking, so people won’t notice. Guess what? I don’t care who notices this time. If anybody asks, I’ll be somewhere turning around in circles. Zooming in and out on Google Maps to pinpoint my location.
And guess what? That’s fine with me, because this is where time stops slipping through my fingers like sand. This is where life's ups and downs start to look less obstacles and more like experiences. Here, you can grow through life, instead of just going through it. Life is meant to be lived. Questioned. Reflected on. Repositioned. Redirected when necessary.
Thanks for reading,